trusting God and dropping Spanish.

In the past couple of days I have struggled with lining up my plan for my life with God's plan for my life. Pastor Seth's sermon on Sunday was about surrender, as described by the second line of the Lord's Prayer: "Your kingdom come, Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven." Lindsey's chapel sermon yesterday was also about surrender and trust, and this morning at Bible study we were talking about Esther and the incredible about of trust she must have had in God that gave her the courage to go before the king.

For the past two months, I have been baking and sharing the food with anyone who wanted it. On Saturday night Jamie was at Antigone. She had asked me to get her laundry out of the dryer for her. I decided to go one step further and put it away. The next afternoon, I was doing my own laundry, realizing how much I don't mind it. I have always had maternal tendencies, and have felt more mature than people my age typically are. I began to wonder whether God's plan for me actually included a career, or was just for me to stay at home with my children (when I have them. after I get married.). I wasn't sure that I should even stay in school, or stay full time. I talked to a few people about this and prayed about it. After telling my entire block, the Bible study girls, my roommate and her fiance, and a friend from high school, I figured it was time to talk to my parents. We agreed that I was called to Bethel. I explained my feelings about my different classes. I'm particularly not enjoying my Spanish class.

I initially decided on Bethel because of the Spanish Education program. It was a total "God Moment" for me, and I had no doubts that this was the place for me. A few months later, I dropped the education part. Then I added English Ed. People often tell me that they're jealous of me for already knowing my two majors in my first semester. Little did they know of the internal conflict I was dealing with. I felt like I couldn't drop the Spanish because it was my "reason for being here." I was planning on going to the DR because I was a Spanish major, rather than going on the PacRim trip, which is what I really want to do. Talking to my parents tonight I realized that God's purpose for me is my reason for being here, not Spanish. He led me to this school. He knows what He's doing. All I can do is trust. After I decided to drop Spanish, I had such a feeling of peace. There is no question in my mind that I should be at Bethel College. I'll probably stay here for four years. If that's what God has planned for me, I'm okay with it.

We'll see whether I stick with the English Education major. I'm considering Liberal Studies with concentrations in English/Literature, music, theatre, and possibly Spanish. All I can do is trust.