that's what I walked away thinking today.
a friend of mine held the gate open for me as I was leaving SG this morning.
he was on his way in; we were going in opposite directions.
he had to stand there for a few seconds before I got there.
"Thank you!!"
"How are you today, Hope?"
quick decision: how much do I say? Do I really tell this guy how I am? No.
sigh "I'm good."
"No, you're not."
"I'm just tired."
and I walked to class.
but I couldn't help thinking "wow, that was really nice of him."
he didn't have to hold the gate.
he could have just said "hi."
I wouldn't have noticed if he had just let me keep walking.
but he took the time to notice my sigh.
he seemed to genuinely care.
I probably could have stood there and given him a list of everything that was going wrong in my life, which included spilling coffee on my table, my phone, my computer, and my jeans about an hour before this encounter. (by the way, about an hour ago, I spilled half a can of Cherry Coke Zero on my computer cord, my phone, and a small pile of stuff by my bed. it's not really my day.)
I probably could have complained to him about all the petty grievances I have with the day-to-day happenings in my life.
but I didn't need to.
I could just appreciate his kindness.
it has made me think, though.
what if everyone noticed and asked about the non-verbal and sub-verbal (sighs, throat clearings, other non-word sounds) cues that occur in conversation?
what if we all genuinely cared about the answers?
what if, when asked, we were willing to open up about the reasons for those cues?
what if we made an effort to carry one another's burdens, and not cling to and hide behind our own?
we'd start having real conversations.
we'd get to know each other.
we'd learn how great it is to "do life together."
and to you, Great Guy (and you know who you are), thank you.
not just for holding the gate, but for giving me a glimmer of hope for humanity.
1 comment:
I heard a sermon very similar to this awhile ago. And it made me think.
I spent a good (bad) part of my adult life avoiding any kind of real contact because I simply couldn't share what was going on with me...and I did a pretty good job hiding it. But all of that has caught up with me now...years later.
Most of what it has done, is helped me to remember that just as I have varying forms of yuck going on in my life..some past, some present and some anticipated...everyone around me has their own set of circumstances and it is not up to me to judge whether mine are worse or better or easier or harder, they are mine an the other person's circumstances are what they are dealing with. Make sense? I'm still not very good at it...because I'm always tired or frustrated or something that distracts me from being truly genuine, but I'm trying.
This whole premise has helped me parent...especially through the challenges my kids have experienced. I have never been through their experiences, their challenges. I have my own, that are related to the same impetus, but they are mine, and theirs are theirs. I try to respect that and help them process and assure them.
I think it's good that you recognize this, and practice it. And you have a pretty clear voice.
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