"what's the name of his other leg?" and other internet pet peeves.

1. "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith." -from Disney's "Mary Poppins."
No. You know a man named Smith, who has a wooden leg.
I bet you all thought it was a joke. It's actually a commentary on one of the most frustrating grammatical errors: the misplaced modifier. "A misplaced modifier is a word, phrase, or clause that is improperly separated from the word it modifies / describes." -Margaret L. Benner


Simple fix? Reread what you just wrote. Does it make sense? Because you wrote it and you know what you meant to say, it probably does. So read it again. Make sure the adjective (word or phrase) describes what you want it to describe.
Here's an article from Grammar Girl on the subject.

2. This is a photo of Heather and William. If one of them had put it on facebook, they might have used the caption "Heather and I" or "William and I." This would have driven me crazy. If you can't figure out why, take the "Heather and" or the "William and" away from the rest of the phrase. You are left with "I." This is not an acceptable way of describing the subject of a photo. You would say "me." The correct caption, had either of these two wonderful people put this photo on facebook, would have been "Heather and me" or "William and me."




3. Someone commenting on this photo might think that it's (not its) adorable. He or she (not they) might say "awe! you guys are so cute!" Oh my word. NO! Not that they're not cute. It's just that "awe" means "an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like." (definition from Dictionary.com) The correct spelling of an exclamation of cuteness is "aww." Or "awwwwww." or "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" The length is up to the writer.


4. If you are going to make a complete sentence out of your facebook status, at least keep your subject/point of view consistent. An example of a bad facebook status: "Hope Elizabeth Swanson is hoping that I don't offend anyone with her new blog post." Who is this "I" to whom Hope is referring? Let's try to clarify, shall we? "Hope Elizabeth Swanson hopes that she doesn't offend anyone with her new blog post." or "Hope Elizabeth Swanson I hope I don't offend anyone with my new blog post." See how it didn't seem like I was hoping that facebook didn't offend anyone with my new blog post?

5. Apostrophes don't make things plural. Apostrophes show possession or they take the place of letters in a contraction. I hang out with my friends, not my friend's. I live at my parents' house. I don't have a boyfriend.

The above are simply matters of correct English. This post, as whiny as it may sound, is not entirely personal. It's about apparent intelligence (not actual intelligence, mind you. Facebook is a terrible source if you are trying to determine whether or not a person is intelligent.).

Well, I have C.S. Lewis to read. Eventually I'll get around to writing about it. By "eventually," I probably mean tomorrow. You can read about my journey with Jack at hopefulbooks.blogspot.com.