I have finished and performed two original songs over the past two years.
One of the requirements for Battle of the Bands that we're having in February is an original song.
I decided that I wanted to write a new one.
This decision came after an awesome weekend at conVERGE 2011, a student leadership conference for juniors and seniors in high school. (I was running a table for TOMS Shoes.)
I learned so much about God's unconditional love and His incomprehensible power and His unbreakable promises.
And that's what I wanted to write about.
But I kept getting distracted by the image of a certain someone's (and I refuse to publicly confess who) amazing eyes. They're a bright, piercing blue. I always get the sense that he can totally see into who I am. I've been around him a lot lately and it's driving me crazy. And he's a good looking guy even when you ignore the eyes (like that's possible) and he's funny and generally awesome, and I can't talk to him like the intelligent, articulate, normal person that I am. I am not accustomed to acting like a fool. I usually bring my A Game to this type of situation, even when I don't mean to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not falling all over myself. I'm just more quiet than usual when it comes down to times with potential for having real conversations.
So I'm sitting at the piano in a practice room, trying to get his face out of my head. This was a difficult few minutes. I even started a song about him. I know that when it gets to that point, and he has no idea, I have reached a very low point.
With great effort and discipline, I pushed those eyes out of my head. The unrequited admiration was a waste of time. There is a love that, too often, is ignored. It is an unconditional love. I can't do anything to earn it or to lose it. I cannot be so good that it increases, nor can I be so depraved that it diminishes. This love comes from the One who knows all my faults and fears and mistakes. He is the One who gave me my talents and asks that I offer them back to Him. When I realize the majesty of this love love, this faultless, pure, holy, limitless, powerful, merciful, graceful, joyous love, the only thing I can do is to respond with my life. I have been promised so much by my Great Father. He takes hold of my right hand (Is. 41: 13); He will give me peace in my surrender (Phil. 4:6-7); He has disgraced my enemies; He lavishes His unfailing love. That's amazing.
So I started writing about this. Two of JJ Heller's songs ("What Love Really Means," and "True Things") have been awesome reminders to me lately, and they got the lyrics flowing, but the Spirit had something to say to me and through me, so I can't really take much credit or give it to JJ.
The song isn't finished, but I'm super excited about where it's going. This is part of a verse and the chorus that I have so far.
"You look at me
and You know my faults,
and You know my fears,
and yet You love me.
And it's not because of anything I did
Or any prayer I prayed,
It's just because
You made me who I am
I am a child of God
And nothing else matters.
It means I'm not what I'm doing now,
Or where I'll go tonight.
I'm finding out who I am."
I love how much I am loved. I love that I am loved with a perfect, unconditional love. I love that I can't do anything to change that love. I love the One who loves me.
One of the requirements for Battle of the Bands that we're having in February is an original song.
I decided that I wanted to write a new one.
This decision came after an awesome weekend at conVERGE 2011, a student leadership conference for juniors and seniors in high school. (I was running a table for TOMS Shoes.)
I learned so much about God's unconditional love and His incomprehensible power and His unbreakable promises.
And that's what I wanted to write about.
But I kept getting distracted by the image of a certain someone's (and I refuse to publicly confess who) amazing eyes. They're a bright, piercing blue. I always get the sense that he can totally see into who I am. I've been around him a lot lately and it's driving me crazy. And he's a good looking guy even when you ignore the eyes (like that's possible) and he's funny and generally awesome, and I can't talk to him like the intelligent, articulate, normal person that I am. I am not accustomed to acting like a fool. I usually bring my A Game to this type of situation, even when I don't mean to. Don't get me wrong, I'm not falling all over myself. I'm just more quiet than usual when it comes down to times with potential for having real conversations.
So I'm sitting at the piano in a practice room, trying to get his face out of my head. This was a difficult few minutes. I even started a song about him. I know that when it gets to that point, and he has no idea, I have reached a very low point.
With great effort and discipline, I pushed those eyes out of my head. The unrequited admiration was a waste of time. There is a love that, too often, is ignored. It is an unconditional love. I can't do anything to earn it or to lose it. I cannot be so good that it increases, nor can I be so depraved that it diminishes. This love comes from the One who knows all my faults and fears and mistakes. He is the One who gave me my talents and asks that I offer them back to Him. When I realize the majesty of this love love, this faultless, pure, holy, limitless, powerful, merciful, graceful, joyous love, the only thing I can do is to respond with my life. I have been promised so much by my Great Father. He takes hold of my right hand (Is. 41: 13); He will give me peace in my surrender (Phil. 4:6-7); He has disgraced my enemies; He lavishes His unfailing love. That's amazing.
So I started writing about this. Two of JJ Heller's songs ("What Love Really Means," and "True Things") have been awesome reminders to me lately, and they got the lyrics flowing, but the Spirit had something to say to me and through me, so I can't really take much credit or give it to JJ.
The song isn't finished, but I'm super excited about where it's going. This is part of a verse and the chorus that I have so far.
"You look at me
and You know my faults,
and You know my fears,
and yet You love me.
And it's not because of anything I did
Or any prayer I prayed,
It's just because
You made me who I am
I am a child of God
And nothing else matters.
It means I'm not what I'm doing now,
Or where I'll go tonight.
I'm finding out who I am."
I love how much I am loved. I love that I am loved with a perfect, unconditional love. I love that I can't do anything to change that love. I love the One who loves me.
1 comment:
and now, i understand what i saw in your face that was so beautiful and giddy and full of a reflection of God's unconditional love. captivating. thank you for writing and sharing your heart.
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