September Photo Challenge Finish

Okay, I haven't done as well as I'd hoped.
I posted every picture, but not always on the day I was supposed to.
However, I have continued to make my bed every day, as much as a top bunk can be made.
I have only walked on sidewalks.
And most of my homework has gotten done.

Here's the last photo.
Me, 30 days later.

Quantity AND Quality.

There is a stark contrast between where I was a week ago and where I am now.

For one thing, I'm in Mishawaka instead of Walkerton.
And I'm not at church.

Yes, that's right. It's Sunday morning and I'm sitting at Starbucks.
*GASP* Is she even a Christian?
You know you asked yourself that question.
I have chapel three times each week (I know that chapel doesn't replace church.)
I have Shupe Group each week.
I'm in a discipleship group with a wise, learned, and well-respected professor, which meets every other week.
I have a Bible class and Senior Experience with Dr. Bob.
And I live in Shupe, where I get to pour out the knowledge that I receive.
I'm not lacking in teaching.
I'm not lacking in Christian community.
I get to make this decision for myself.
And I have.
I'm not saying that Sunday morning church attendance is necessarily a bad thing,
or that anyone else should base his/her decision on mine.
It doesn't work that way.
And I'm not saying that I will never attend church on Sunday mornings.
I have plans to go to several churches in the area.
It's my life. It's my relationship with God.
And it's not suffering.

So, this morning, I'm at Starbucks.
I have my Greek book to study, some essays to write, and this post to finish.
Worship with your mind.

And now I'll write something that relates to the title of this post.
(I write titles before I write the post.)
Last weekend was a whirlwind.

I had two retreats and they overlapped.
The first was a Student Council Retreat, which hasn't happened in the memory of any current Bethel student.
It's my fourth year on StuCo, and I'm the Shupe dorm rep.
A retreat was the perfect way to start the year. We got to know just about everyone on the Council, we talked about visions for the year, we did training on how to use MyBethel, we ate together, prayed together, slept near each other, learned about how we relate to others (because Tom loves personality tests), played Star Wars Mafia for hours, and inspired a Campus Activities event (NERF Zombies).
Usually, StuCo members have minimal conversation and feel uncomfortable during meetings.
This year I see things being different. Now that we're on our way to being friends, we can have honest conversation in meetings. We can better understand how to work together. We can actually get excited about going to meetings.

The StuCo retreat was from 5:30 on Friday until 1:30 on Saturday, and there was a dinner at the President's house in Michigan.
Unfortunately, I was not able to attend the dinner.

I left The Oaks (30 minutes south of Bethel) at 1:30, went back to campus to get my contacts case and glasses and use my last swipe on a raspberry mocha at SG.
Then I got a text from one of my fellow Anchored members giving me the address to the cabins at Swan Lake resort.
I plugged it into my GPS and was on my way to 24 hours of singing, laughing, sleeping, eating, and more driving with my Music Ministry Team family.

The second part of the weekend was incredible.
I missed a few hours of hanging out at Jill's and working on our combined song, but I didn't feel left out when I got there. I wish I could have been there, but the welcome I received when I arrived showed me that this year is going to be amazing. We love each other, all ten of us. We are brothers and sisters, and we don't have to know each other well to know that we are responsible for each other. We take care of each other. We support each other. We know that we will only be successful as a group if we work together to help each other be successful as individuals.
Sure, we joke around and make fun of each other. We laugh at each other. We get frustrated with each other. But at the end of the day we know that it's not serious. We're crazy about each other, and I am so pumped to see what the rest of the year has in store.

There is no way to say that a short amount of time is fine if it is used well. I don't believe in quality over quantity, except when it comes to junk food. Or coffee. I will drink a half cup of really good coffee over a full cup of cheap hotel coffee. Any day.
But when it comes to time, I think that both quantity and quality are important, especially when it comes to things like last weekend.
The difference between a few hours at Dr. Cramer's last year for StuCo members to get to know each other and sixteen hours this year was huge.
For the MMTs to get off campus and spend two days together gave us time to be together without rehearsing. We got to just hang out and have fun. (Not that rehearsals aren't fun. I think we proved that false.)

We need time. And we need to use it well. We can't just spend a few hours together each week and expect our relationships to happen. We made so much progress last weekend. We might not all know each other well, but we learned about each other. We are starting to understand each other.

Spend time together, my friends. Use that time to learn about each other. Find out the dynamics of your relationships. Take care of your friendships, if you want them to last.

This is what I'm learning.

September Photo Challenge: 24-29

Favorite Color Scheme: Michigan moonrise.

Whatever You Want:
My aunt and uncle's dog.

Playing With Shadows.

Natural Light.

Incorporate movement.

Clouds. And Chicago.

September Photo Challenge: 21-23.

Sunset. Prague, CZ

This isn't going as well as I'd hoped, but I have an excuse for this three-in-one. I was gone all weekend and didn't have time/energy to take care of this. I did, however, make my bed.

Someone you love. Or two someones.

Childhood Memory.
Blue Moon ice cream from The Chief in Goshen.
First time in 16 years.

September Photo Challenge: 19 & 20

Landscape. The grounds at Blenheim Palace. 

Freshman year. We went to see a play. Good times.

September Photo Challenge. Catching up.

Black and White

Same shot

Different Light

Photo Edit You Like

Focusing on Eyes.

Whatever you want.

Experimenting with Light

Streetlights. London, UK.

Depicting Emotion.
Last night with my puppy.

September Photo Challenge Day 10

Whatever You Want.
Leaf.
Mishawaka, IN.
Fall 2010.

September Photo Challenge Day 9

I somehow missed day 7, so here's a silhouette.
The Ready Set.
The Bottom Lounge.
Chicago, IL.
6 April 2011.

The Post About "Ring By Spring."

Katie (Roommate) was talking this morning about how much she is helped by journaling. She takes all of the thoughts that are weighing her down and puts them on paper. The burden becomes lighter.
This is what blogging does for me. So, this is a post in which I get really honest about what's going on in my heart.

"Ring by spring is a goal set by some Bethel women to get engaged by the end of spring semester of their senior year. Some women even make it a competition among their lady friends to see who can get engaged first and finally claim that MRS degree they've been working so hard for. Some girls figure that college is just one of those prenuptial hoops they have to jump through in order to reel in their husband. Sounds pretty desperate to me." -Robby Rasbaugh in Stuff Bethel Students Like (Page 71)

A few years ago I wrote a post about why I (probably) wouldn't date in college. I really enjoy looking back to 18-year-old me and seeing how smart I thought I was.

So that you don't have to read the whole post, here's where I ended:

"I came to school planning to not date first semester.my mom's Aunt Ellen and my Grandma (Dad's mom) told me, independently of each other, that we'd be planning my wedding in eight years.I'm not much for signs but I think I can accept that as reasonable.I know, it seems to me that that's an awfully long time to wait.but now it seems to make sense.especially if I'm not going to date for the next four years. 

I'm not saying that I'm giving up dating.or that I won't want to date.or that anyone shouldn't pursue me. (ha! right. it's only the third full week. please don't pursue me now. if anyone was planning to.)I'm only saying that God is enough for me.and if He doesn't want me to date, I won't date."

And I haven't dated. I've come close and had it fizzle. I've been interested in more guys than I care to acknowledge. I've had a few guys show interest in me.

I wasn't trying to stick with that pseudo-decision I made on 16 September 2009. In fact, I've spent a significant amount of time and energy trying to get the opposite to happen. They tell us that the "best way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I've been baking since freshman year, and it has gotten me nothing. Not that getting a man is the only reason I bake.

But, alas, I remain single.

I've thought off and on for the past three years about the idea of "ring by spring," but not until this year did I realize that the pressure's on.

Here's the "Average Experience of an Average Bethel Student."

For those who are just starting on their Bethel career, breathe. Stop that panic attack before it even starts.
For those like me, who are entering their final year, breathe.
I mean, some of you are already married.
Some of you followed this timeline pretty closely.

I didn't.
Some of the events that were supposed to happen freshman year didn't happen at all.
I didn't get a car until this summer.
I've never really had a job.
I'm not a super impressive human being.

But I would like to direct your attention to the end of the timeline.
The summer after senior year.
When 17 of your Bethel friends get married and you, as a single person, realize that your time has run out.

I've been annoying Stephanie (and a number of freshman girls) all week with my complaints about a stupid boy who won't love me.
I sound like a 16-year-old.
But I'm frustrated, because I've been trying for too long to make this happen and I already feel like I've lost any hope that I might have had.

Just to be fair to a certain someone who might be reading this going "you had a chance with me and you blew it!," yes, I did have a chance. And if God changes my heart, I'll let you know. For now, it kills me that I might have hurt you, and I can't see you without wanting to cry. So, that's out there.

Here's the deal: I don't really know what I want to do with my life.
Maybe I will go overseas.
Okay, I'll probably go overseas.
I don't know where or when or what I'll do.
I don't know whether I'll be an official "missionary" or just someone who loves Jesus and wants to influence the culture for Him.
(I'm leaning toward the latter.)

And yes, there's a guy I'm interested in. Is it worth it? I doubt it.
Especially since Aunt Ellen and Grandma have given me a few more years.

I don't know.
But now you know that I'm feeling the pressure.

Because I'm a girl and I'm living with freshmen who are freaking out because it's the third weekend that they've lived here and they do or don't have guys to invite over to Shupe for open dorms.

Because I've heard the stories about how difficult it is to meet guys when you don't see them in class and chapel and at every meal and on the sidewalks and at Tradewinds and at Kroger and everywhere else in this ridiculous town. I'm not the kind of person who is going to go to bars to meet guys (after I graduate).

Because, although I know there's a disclaimer at the beginning of that timeline, I also know that there's some truth to it.

Because that's just who I am.

Welcome to my life.

Sept. Photo Challenge: 6-8

I'm not so great at this one.

From a low angle.

Something Close Up
five days of armpit hair growth in the CZ.

Something From a Distance.
This is Canada from 40,000 feet.

September Photo Challenge Days 4 and 5

Day 4: from a high angle.
Photo Credit: Almost August Photography

Day 5: Whatever You Want
I want to share this picture of me with a trash can
that looks like an ice cream cone.

Day Three: Your Favorite Place to Be.

Malenovice, CZ

Photo 2: What you wore today.

How about what I'm wearing now.

Team Snuggie.

Concerning Discipline.

This is my senior year of college.

Unless I make the crazy decision to go to grad school, or to return for a second degree, I have started my final year of formal education.

I am terrible at self-discipline.

I always have been.

I want to get better.

So I'm starting some new exercises in discipline.

One of them started about a month and a half ago.

Mom decided that she'd put a dollar in my "Wedding Fund" jar for every day that I made my bed.

Yes, I'm 21 years old and my mother has to bribe me to make my bed.

And it's working.

I've made my bed every day since I moved in.

Another is thanks to Pinterest.

It's a 30 day photo challenge that I will post here through the month of September.

Here's the list of photos I'll be taking.

And finally, I'm going to make more of an effort to get my homework done, especially reading assignments.

I've spent the past three years settling.

I haven't done my best; I've only done just enough.

And I know I can improve.

Day One: A Photo of You

Well, here's the picture of the day.