31 January 2012

A Melancholy Alleluia.

Ever since I first read A Ring of Endless Light, which was a very long time ago, singing "alleluia" has had a special meaning for me.
If you have read the book, you will understand.
And, let me tell you, I have had many opportunities.
This school year, for example, we're singing Paul Basler's "Alleluia." We have it all year and I love it.

Last week we started a new piece for this semester.
It's in Russian, which I love. Seriously, one of my favorite languages to sing in.
It's called "Duh Tvoy Blagiy." (There are some diacritic marks that I'm missing there, and I apologize for that.)
I adore this song.

The thing is, the ending of the song, "alleluia," doesn't really leave you with a sense of overwhelming joy.
Or maybe that's just me.
But I don't think so.

As we sang it in rehearsal yesterday, in light of Sunday's post on grief, along with a lot of other thinking I've been doing, I heard it in a different way.
I sang it in a different way.

You see, we are made to praise God.
The way I see it, that's one of our primary duties as created beings.
And we are to "be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for [us] who belong to Christ Jesus."
(1 Thes. 5:18)

Sometimes, I just don't feel like being thankful. I don't feel like thanking God for everything that happens to me.
But that's not what the verse says. Paul didn't say "be thankful for the death of your grandfather," or "be thankful when you don't get asked out by that guy you've liked for-like-EVER!."
He said "be thankful in all circumstances. Yes, even in the Greek. Although I didn't look into tenses or anything like that.
I understand this as a general attitude of gratitude (yes, I just did that) toward God. For who He is and what He has done and is doing and will do.

I think that it's possible to be thankful for the things that happen that we don't like, and maybe I'm wrong and we're supposed to thank God for every struggle and every frustration and every bad thing that comes our way.
However, I don't think I should be thankful for temptation. I can be thankful for the strength to resist temptation, but should I really thank God for things the Enemy throws my way? I don't think so.
(This is one of those, "I'm open to hear another side of this" things.")

God can take our anger and sadness and bitterness.
By that I mean "God can handle us yelling at Him;" and I mean "God can take it from us if we let Him."
Been there, done that.
Let it go, friends.

And, in the midst of the sorrow and pain, praise Him with a melancholy "alleluia."

1 comment:

Jill Carr said...

A Ring of Endless Light is my all time favorite book.

And I agree about the thankfulness issue.

Am I thankful that I was in an abusive marriage? Nope. But I am thankful for my children who are amazing gifts from that experience.

Stuff like that reminds me of how wise God is and how I am not (wise).

Love you.