11 February 2012

I never talk about Valentine's Day.

Okay, so it's not really never, but I tend to keep pretty quiet on the subject.

This is a processing post, because I want to figure out how I really feel about Valentine's Day.
Welcome to my life.

If you're a long-time reader, you know how I feel about chivalry.
But that's not the whole story.

I think I like the idea of romance.
I like the idea of being liked enough for someone to know me and know what I like.
But I'm really picky about these things, so knowing me well and being able to read me (which I make difficult) is imperative.

I hate chick flicks. More accurately, I hate what chick flicks have done to our view of men and manhood. The idea of "love" that they portray is sickening: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl flirt/go on dates/agree to not fall in love. Boy and girl sleep together. Boy and girl are in love. Ex-girlfriend/boyfriend comes to town. Boy cheats/girl cheats. Boy and girl break up and try to see other people. Girl/boy realizes that she can't live without boy/girl. Big romantic scene (often in the rain). Boy and girl kiss like their lives depend on it. "I love you." End credits roll. Oh, and all of this happened in a few months at most.


Hey, that's not real life.
At least, not in my experience.
It doesn't make for a healthy relationship.


The guys in these movies are unlike any that I have ever met.
They are either very intelligent ("he can take care of me") or they're idiots ("I can fix him/he's so precious"). They are either smokin' hot (like Ryan Gosling) or lovably chubby (Seth Rogan). The former gives guys a standard to live up to that makes them either insecure (if they don't think they've got it) or super cocky (if they think they look better than Ryan. ha.). The latter character tends to be the idiot who has has a few shining moments of seriousness. Most girls I know aren't patient enough to wait for those moments, regardless of the guy's level of attractiveness.
So, ladies, let's look around at the guys we know and accept the fact that they can't and won't be Noah Calhoun. Give them a break. They try in the ways that they know. Give them a chance.

But I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the idea of being loved.
I am not anti-Valentine's Day, nor do I pretend to be while I actually secretly wish someone would buy me flowers. Let's be real, I would be glad to get flowers from someone other than my parents.
I would love to be someone's Valentine, but not just anyone.
I am not so desperate to be in a relationship that I'm going to fall for the first guy who shows interest.
Nor will I show my cards and tell you who I want to be my Valentine. But I do have at least one Someone in mind.

But, when Tuesday rolls around, I will probably treat at it as just another day. And  I will go to bed and hope that things will be different a year from now.

I don't think I've really settled how I feel about Valentine's Day.
And I suppose that's okay.

In case you're wondering or you think that you might be that "Someone" I have in mind: I like calla lilies, daffodils, roses, and Gerber daisies (I do not like bouquets that have baby's breath); dark chocolate, and flavored coffee.

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