1. JESUS IS NOT MY VALENTINE!
You call a guy your Valentine for one day. Then he isn't your Valentine anymore.
Often, the person you call your "Valentine" is your boyfriend on any other day.
Jesus is not my "boyfriend."
A "boyfriend" is what you have to figure out whether you want to marry the guy.
But I know that I'm betrothed. I'm headed to the wedding supper of the Lamb when this life is over.
That isn't changing, even if I do end up with an earthly marriage.
So, why do you say that Jesus is your Valentine?
Because you really do wish that you had a boyfriend but you want to put on a brave face for your Facebook friends and Twitter followers?
Because you're trying to convince yourself (and others) that Valentine's Day is silly?
Or because you know that you are loved?
Look, I'd be lying if I said I didn't care that I didn't have anything close to a Valentine today.
But I want a real relationship more than I want someone to be special for today only.
And that's how I intend to treat Jesus.
He's the Lover of my soul.
Think about that.
2. My friends don't know how mean I am; everyone else thinks I hate them.
My close friends, the ones who really know me, are often shocked when I talk about being mean. I very rarely try to be hurtful. I am only deliberately mean when I'm trying to push people away. And that pretty much only happens when I'm trying to get a guy to stop liking me.
But it has come to my attention (really, I got called out on it) that I come across as a very rude person.
I appear to tear people apart without realizing it. And I have hurt people in the process.
I have never been "the cool kid." At least, no one has ever made me think that I have been.
I learned early on that the "cool kids" were the ones who made fun of other kids.
I am empathetic. I am capable of feeling what others are feeling.
But I have never been able to get away with pitying myself. I have never been able to get away with selfishly complaining about what others have done to me.
My parents have always pointed out what the other person might be thinking.
And we Swansons are great arguers.
But I'm a little twisted, and I don't choose empathy first.
I immediately go into problem-solving mode. I don't have patience for self-victimizing.
I am caustic, but only on the outside.
I cannot make my face display the sarcasm that I mean.
And it is not fair for me to expect everyone to understand that right away or to stick around long enough to get used to it.
I apologize for the pain I have caused.
I assure you that it was not intentional, but that is no excuse.
3. I'm stuck in a rut.
I go to classes, come home, eat, watch tv, do homework, go to SG and pretend to do homework while not actually getting much done, tweet about it, spend way too much time on Facebook, blah, blah, blech.
I can't really figure out why I do it. I know why it started, but now it's getting out of hand.
The monotony of my life is getting out of hand. Paradox? Maybe. But I'm losing my mind in it.
The things I set out to do aren't happening. I'm mostly okay with that. But I'm not doing anything to make things happen, so I can't complain.
But I'm tired of it.
The routine is changing.
Get ready.
Time to start this Wednesday.
You call a guy your Valentine for one day. Then he isn't your Valentine anymore.
Often, the person you call your "Valentine" is your boyfriend on any other day.
Jesus is not my "boyfriend."
A "boyfriend" is what you have to figure out whether you want to marry the guy.
But I know that I'm betrothed. I'm headed to the wedding supper of the Lamb when this life is over.
That isn't changing, even if I do end up with an earthly marriage.
So, why do you say that Jesus is your Valentine?
Because you really do wish that you had a boyfriend but you want to put on a brave face for your Facebook friends and Twitter followers?
Because you're trying to convince yourself (and others) that Valentine's Day is silly?
Or because you know that you are loved?
Look, I'd be lying if I said I didn't care that I didn't have anything close to a Valentine today.
But I want a real relationship more than I want someone to be special for today only.
And that's how I intend to treat Jesus.
He's the Lover of my soul.
Think about that.
2. My friends don't know how mean I am; everyone else thinks I hate them.
My close friends, the ones who really know me, are often shocked when I talk about being mean. I very rarely try to be hurtful. I am only deliberately mean when I'm trying to push people away. And that pretty much only happens when I'm trying to get a guy to stop liking me.
But it has come to my attention (really, I got called out on it) that I come across as a very rude person.
I appear to tear people apart without realizing it. And I have hurt people in the process.
I have never been "the cool kid." At least, no one has ever made me think that I have been.
I learned early on that the "cool kids" were the ones who made fun of other kids.
I am empathetic. I am capable of feeling what others are feeling.
But I have never been able to get away with pitying myself. I have never been able to get away with selfishly complaining about what others have done to me.
My parents have always pointed out what the other person might be thinking.
And we Swansons are great arguers.
But I'm a little twisted, and I don't choose empathy first.
I immediately go into problem-solving mode. I don't have patience for self-victimizing.
I am caustic, but only on the outside.
I cannot make my face display the sarcasm that I mean.
And it is not fair for me to expect everyone to understand that right away or to stick around long enough to get used to it.
I apologize for the pain I have caused.
I assure you that it was not intentional, but that is no excuse.
3. I'm stuck in a rut.
I go to classes, come home, eat, watch tv, do homework, go to SG and pretend to do homework while not actually getting much done, tweet about it, spend way too much time on Facebook, blah, blah, blech.
I can't really figure out why I do it. I know why it started, but now it's getting out of hand.
The monotony of my life is getting out of hand. Paradox? Maybe. But I'm losing my mind in it.
The things I set out to do aren't happening. I'm mostly okay with that. But I'm not doing anything to make things happen, so I can't complain.
But I'm tired of it.
The routine is changing.
Get ready.
Time to start this Wednesday.
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