Biology and Baking (Week One Recap)

So, it's Friday night.
Technically, it's Saturday morning.
I'm sitting in my living room with Amber, watching "Notting Hill."
A year ago I was in Oxford, struggling to sleep because I was adjusting to a new time zone, new bed, new everything.
I want very little more than to be back there right now.

Living in this apartment is wonderful.
The others living here are fantastic, I can walk to campus (because my bike is driving my crazy), and I have no cat allergy issues unless I spend too much time on the couches.
It's just great.

We had our first test of three today.
I'm pretty sure I got a B.
And then we watched "Brave New World."
As a lover of the book, I was not a fan of the movie.
Just some weird interpretations of characters and relationships.

12 hours ago, I made the chai latte cupcakes.
The non-vegan version.
They taste fine, but a little dense.
And I failed miserably on the frosting.
But that can be easily remedied.

Two more weeks of class.
One more week until I get a car (and see my brother and sister-in-law!).
Four weeks until a day of freaking out about how people will like the cupcakes.

That's pretty much the update here.
Now I really need to go to bed.

Biology and Baking (A Series for May) Preview

On May 7, I embark on a three week journey through Human Biology.
No one could accuse me of loving studying science, so I figured the best way to take care of my science requirement was to take a May Term class. Human Bio wasn't my first choice, but Physical World was full when I registered for classes.
And as I look at my syllabus I'm discovering that I'm okay with that.

I am currently sitting at my second favorite Starbucks (my favorite is in Oxford, which isn't really practical).
I have been here since around 9:30 studying vocab, reading, and drinking a latte.
If the entire three weeks are like this, I will be just fine.

On June 9, I embark on a different kind of journey.
That is the date of the wedding I am making cupcakes for.
Two hundred and fifty cupcakes, five recipes, just over a month.
I am thrilled/honored/terrified.

So, the next month will be spent almost exclusively focusing on Biology and Baking.
And I'm going to blog about it.

On Thursday, my friend Katie came over and we tried making these hi-hat cupcakes.
They are delicious, to be sure, but there's room for improvement in technique.
We used chocolate candy coating for dipping, which was too thick and solid.
It made them difficult and messy to eat. The messiness won't be easy to fix, because of the amount of Italian meringue on top.
The meringue came out just about perfect. I don't think I let the syrup get quite hot enough before adding it to the egg whites, and I might have whipped the mixture for a few seconds too long.
But the overall result was pretty satisfying. I'm excited to try again.

The next step in this process is testing the chai latte cupcakes, and attending the first day of class.
I haven't taken a real May Term class (England was technically May Term, but I don't count it because was pretty unconventional. We just did all of the homework when we got back.).

I move in to the summer apartment for real tomorrow afternoon. My roommates have been there all week, and I'm excited to join them.

I hope you join me on my adventures this month. It's going to be interesting.

Goodbye, twenty-first year.

I am in the last twenty minutes of my 21st year of life.

I don't know how I feel about this, but it's coming fast and I can't change anything.

I'm home.
I just spent some time with my dear friend Katie, which was wonderful.

Tomorrow includes sleeping, shopping, steak, and church.
Saturday will be spent doing homework at the library.
Sunday is Easter, so I'll be at church. And then back to school.

My twenty-first year was interesting.
It was good.
It was busy.
It was sad.
It was joyful.
And now it's almost over.

Goodbye, twenty-first year.
You gave me a chance to learn much, and I am glad we had that time.


(A more reflective post about this might appear soon.)

I need a break.

I am currently sitting at Melisa's old desk, which is covered with my stuff.
My feet are up on the desk and my laptop is on my knees.
I am my father's child. And I am proud of that.

I baked an apple pie on Friday.
I washed dishes while the pie was in the oven.
I washed dishes today.
I feel like I have washed dishes about six times this week.
I probably have, because I made cinnamon rolls on Tuesday and had to wash those dishes.
And others.
Dishes accumulate quickly in this house and most of them are mine.
But I almost always wash them within 24 hours (this month).
And I have changed my method.
I am my mother's child. And I am proud of that.

I started organizing stuff this weekend.
I need to decide what to take home over break and what I need this summer.

(I'm living in an apartment in Mishawaka this summer with two other Bethel students and a Rose-Hulman grad who is now an engineer. The house is owned by a Bethel prof. She has four cats. I will be surviving on air fresheners and allergy medicine.)

As I was going through stuff I flipped the page in the Swanson Family Calendar to April.
And looked at the picture of my grandpa.
And started crying. I look at a picture of my grandpa every day. There's one on my desk. And I never react to it. Habituation at its finest.
But there I was, alone in the house, crying.

And Grandpa was in my dream last night. He was in a wheelchair, hooked up to all kinds of medical equipment. But he had that smile on his face. I leaned over and hugged him and wondered why I hadn't seen him in such a long time.
Then I woke up and had to think really hard before I remembered. I hated that.
I hated that I had to have that dream and I loved that I had that dream. I was able to hug my grandpa for the first time in over a year, I think. Because I didn't hug him the last time I saw him. I didn't even say good-bye. And I live with that regret and pain.

I am in a terrible mood. I have been all weekend.
I'm really good at hiding it until something annoys me enough. And then I snap and no one knows how to handle it and I don't know what to tell them to do.

It's Birthday Week.
I will be home in a few days.
I have no plans for Break, other than church.
I have no plans for celebrating any time this week, because I cannot justify skipping class to go to dinner, even if it's free stir fry at Flat Top. That can wait.
I'm not even looking forward to my birthday.

I'm just ready to be home for a few days. And I'd like to not be sick this time.
I will have plenty of homework to do, and I'm okay with that.
Because I will be home.

I have been more homesick this year than ever before. I have liked this year a whole lot less than the previous two. It has been difficult. I have had to face things about myself that I did not want to face. I have struggled with friendships and crushes and school and sleep and roommates and insecurity and sin and loneliness and complacency and and laziness and sadness and theology and identity and trying to put up with things that I feel like I have to business putting up with and cancer and death and friends who are hurting and and and and and.

A year ago I was counting down the days to England. Bob didn't have cancer. Mike's mom was still alive. My grandpa and Katie's grandma and Brandon's grandma and a bunch of other people were still alive. My grandma hadn't been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. I wasn't angry. I was blissfully unaware of what the next year held. I thought I had just finished the worst month of my life. I had just celebrated my birthday with some dear friends by going to Gino's for pizza and coming back for cupcakes and raspberries. I was happy. I was going to see my brother for the first time in months in just a few days at a concert in Chicago with my dad, aunt, cousin (the one with whom I share a birthday), sister-in-law, and a couple hundred screaming teenage girls (well, my cousin is included in that group). I was wearing an incredibly cute blue dress, I had spent hours curling and pinning my hair, topping it with a hat found in an abandoned building, plus my power heels. I looked good and felt good.

I often wish I could go back to that time.

But. Baby D wouldn't be alive, filling Janelle and Evan's lives with joy.
Amelia wouldn't be alive, filling Adam and Becci's lives with joy.
(And a bunch of other babies, like Angelina, Emma, and Palmer. So many babies.)
Some of my friends would still be far away and others, who are now far away, would be stuck here.
I wouldn't have gone to England and left my heart there.
Big Brother would still be on tour instead of home with Sister-in-Law and my puppy-niece.
A thousand people wouldn't have gotten engaged over the summer.
I would be missing out on having nephews and a cousin.
Abbi and Josh would not be married.

I would not know the things about life that I now know.

So, really, I wouldn't change anything.
Because I got to say "good-bye" last night.

Welcome to Birthday Week.
What a way to start.
Just an audition, a quiz, a few papers, and a midterm.
Then I can get in the car and fall apart for real.
For now, I'm held together by grace.

Three more days.

Good night, dear readers. You are wonderful for sticking with me all the way through this post.
I am thankful for you.

Two Weeks From Friday.

Another countdown.

I turn 21 in just over two weeks.

In theory, that's awesome. I'm finally old enough to do anything legal except hold certain political offices.
I will never again be the one holding a group back from being seated in the bar area of a restaurant. Not that I'm often with a group of people who want to be seated in the bar.
I can just say "no, thank you" when offered a taste of wine at a restaurant instead of "I'm not 21 yet."

But, the thing is, I signed a piece of paper a couple years ago saying that I wouldn't drink until I graduate.
And, because I know what happens when the right people find out that you broke that contract, I plan to hold to it.

However, I'm still excited about my birthday.
I'll be home for the first time since high school, so I get to hang out with my parents and friends.
It's on Good Friday, so I get to be reminded of God's sacrifice on my behalf.

I could be "that girl" who buys a guy a drink. I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to do that.
But I probably won't.

The biggest thing is that I'll be home for a few days.
I'll be done with all of the things that I need to do before then (papers, audition, reading, etc.).
I'll have a chance to breathe.
And, ideally, I won't be sick like I was the last time I was home.

I'm ready for my birthday.
Really, really ready.

119 Days.

Unless something crazy happens, in 119 days I will be boarding a plane to Czech Republic.
Holy cow.
That's less than four months.
It's coming like a freight train and I'm starting to freak out.

In a good way.

Grace Church is partnering with Josiah Venture in this trip. JV is an organization with missionaries in 11 countries in Central and Eastern Europe. This region was directly affected by Soviet rule. We are hardly a generation removed from the Berlin Wall and these kids are being raised by parents who are highly suspicious, speak little English (if any), and are not religious. Less than one-third of 1% of the population of the Czech claims to be evangelical Christian, and various cults are prevalent.

It is ineffective in a culture of mistrust to go in and proclaim the Gospel forcefully. JV's approach is focused on incarnational and relational missions. English camps have proven to be effective in building relationships, and that's what we're going to be doing while we're there. We will also partner with a local youth group to encourage them and do ministry with them.

Why I'm doing this trip:
1. Incarnational missions is the one call that I know God has place on my life (other than Biblical commands). I'm not a pushy person, but I'm a relational person. I want to see lost people come to Jesus, but I want to show them what that means rather than just telling them about it.
2. I admit that it's a bit selfish, but I am asking God to use this trip to either confirm or deny my call to overseas missions. I am open to it, but I am not sure whether it's what He wants.
3. I feel a sense of what you might call "holy obligation" to go to the Czech. I believe it would be disobedient of me to not go.

What you can do to help:
1. Pray.
-Pray for us as we prepare our hearts. We are studying a chapter of Romans each week.
-Pray that our team would grow closer together in the next four months.
-Pray for the people we will meet in our travels. We have plane rides, train rides, time in Prague, more travel time, and, of course, the week of camp. Pray that God would be preparing their hearts even now for the message that we will bring. Pray for divine appointments.

2. Give. Yes, this is a shameless request for funds. The trip will cost about $2000 for each of us. And we want to buy our plane tickets soon. Please prayerfully consider supporting us financially.
If you would like to donate, you can send a check (made out to Grace Church) to
Grace Church
Attn. Business Office
52025 Gumwood Rd.
Granger, IN 46530

IF YOU WANT THIS TO BE TAX-DEDUCTABLE, DO NOT PUT A NAME ON THE CHECK! (other than your own signature, of course)

3. Tell me what you know about Czech Republic. Or any useful words you know in the Czech language.

So, that's what's happening July 17-August 1, and in the next 119 days.
If you have any questions, you can email me at hope.swanson@bethelcollege.edu or leave a comment on this post.

Not the Spring Break I expected.

I was supposed to get my wisdom teeth taken out on February 25 at 8:15am.
I would then spend a few days swollen and on painkillers.
I had planned to hang out with my BFF eating ice cream and watching Disney movies.

That's what I thought was going to happen.

And then Thursday night happened.

The Thursday before break was a whirlwind day of classes and getting ready for an evening of theatre in Chicago.
My Shakespeare class was traveling to Navy Pier to see A Midsummer Night's Dream at the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre.
It was a chilly, rainy evening. In the Windy City. On the lake.
I didn't expect to be outside much, so most of us left our coats in the van.
We ended up outside walking the length of the pier.
In a cold drizzle. With boots that are NOT water-tight.
It was great fun, but ruined my hair and left my socks damp until I got back to my house.

So the play started and about halfway through the first half I noticed a pain in my throat.
Not a normal sore throat pain, but a dull ache when I swallow.
I tried not to think about it.

By the end of the performance I was on my way to miserable.
I went to bed with a headache and woke up with a migraine.
And a midterm to take before finishing packing to spend a week at home.
It was a terrible day.

I was pretty shot when we got home, so I climbed in bed.
I woke up around seven to a text from Elyzabeth, with whom I had planned to hang out that night.
We made arrangements.
Then I took my temperature, because that's what I do when I feel sick.

101.3.

That with the achy body, the cough, the headache, and the sore throat pointed to the flu.
I would not be leaving the house that night.
Or the next day.

I would also not be having any teeth removed the next morning.

So, I didn't leave the house until Sunday, and that was just a quick run to Target.
I spent all but a couple hours of Monday sleeping.
And Tuesday was spent doing housework.
By Wednesday I was feeling pretty good, and my friend Abigail was the featured chef at a cafe at Ivy Tech.
That was fantastic!
I think I went grocery shopping with Mom on Thursday, and then had a Chinese food and Disney movie night with Lyz and Taylor.
Friday and Saturday were spent in Chicagoland celebrating my cousin's 10th birthday and hanging out with Andrew and Allie.
Sunday I went to church and then the girls brought me back to school.

We went to Urban Swirl, they dropped me off at church, I had a Czech training meeting and youth group, came home with a migraine, and went to bed at 9:00.

I really didn't enjoy my break.
I got almost nothing done, spent WAY less time with friends and family than I wanted to, and was just plain miserable for most of the week.
But, hey, it happened.
And I can't change it now.