this is not a post about my dad.

I was just reading my dad's recent blog posts. One of them from earlier this week was about apologizing to the college student from Dad's alma mater who called him to ask for money.
The caller had a script that Dad allowed him to run through before declining to donate.

Let me pause for a moment to tell you about my dad. He's really smart. He didn't always apply himself in college, having more or less coasted in high school. But he had good test scores and did well on his GREs. (This is in the post.) He went on to work through higher degrees, including a doctorate in some branch of communication. Yeah. Rev. Jon C. Swanson, Ph.D. That's my dad. I call him Dad. He worked in higher education for the first half of my life; now he's a pastor. I like that.

But this post is not about my dad.

It is about conveying tone in writing. My dad is hilarious and has an interesting commentary on the events of everyday life. He writes every day. And his goal, as I understand it, is to make people think. In this post, I do not believe he was trying to change the entire structure of fundraising, but instead to make those involved in fundraising think about their approach and rethink the way they think about potential donors. A few of the comments on the post seem to almost attack him, telling him that his suggestion is unreasonable and would cost more than it was worth.

I was frustrated as I read this. If these readers are new, having never met my dad or read his blog before, they do not understand his tone or intentions. He proposes "what if" ideas, that are usually brilliant. But that is often not how they are interpreted.

This same situation happens when we write anything (text messages, facebook comments, blog posts). The inflection and facial expression we intend does not make its way through our fingertips, through the keyboard, and onto the screen.
Our words can easily be taken at face value, which is not at all our intention. Is it fair to judge a person you have never met, never heard speak, never seen interviewed, based solely on the words that you have read? I don't think so.

So how do we fix this problem?

Some possible solutions for writers and readers:

1. Parentheses. I use them a lot. It's part of my writing style. It gives me a chance to step away from the words and explain what I'm writing. It helps me stay out of trouble.

2. Make connections. To readers: Make an effort to get to know the writer as more than a writer. Read past posts. Send him/her an email. Understand the story his/her life before he/she wrote the post you are reading. To writers: Give your readers the information they need in order to make an informed decision. Tell your story. Make yourself vulnerable. This might include actually filling out the "about me" section on your profile, which I have not done.

[Digression:
My dad is a speaker, and because I have heard him give sermons, I know how to read his words. Well, I've known him for nearly 19 years, so I can read his words pretty well anyway.]
Connecting the digression:
3. Read the words out loud. You don't have to read them loudly, but read them with a few different tones of voice, approaching the words with different attitudes.

4. Remember that people often write blog posts for their own benefit. Posts express the writer's opinions. No one is saying that you must agree with everything. When you comment, do it graciously. Consider your own words and how you are saying them.

I'm a big fan of number 4. That's the way I write. For me, this is where I say the things that make people annoyed with me. If they want to read it, they can. But they don't have to.

I hope you understand me when I write posts.

Thank you for reading.